Forgiveness

Last weekend I saw “Meiyazhagan”, a recently released Tamil movie, a beautifully crafted family drama capturing human emotions, inter-personal relationships, bonding, placing others interest above ours, gratitude and most importantly a very difficult emotion for everyone …..forgiveness!. This movie led me to delve deeper into this most difficult emotion, i.e forgiveness on which I felt like writing on today.

Personally, there has been many instances when I have been deeply hurt by actions of others for no mistake of mine (in my understanding 😊) and it was harder to forgive. This mental baggage kept accumulating and often I used to think what was stopping me from forgiving, from letting go of that incident from the mind, by genuinely forgiving the other person?

The hardest emotion

Well, the truth I realize is that it is the hardest of any emotion – one can overcome anger, jealousy, hatred or depression through mindfulness, awareness, meditation and the like but to forgive without even an expectation of confession from the offender is something phenomenal.

I had written more about noble qualities here, here and elsewhere. Read them in case you have not read that earlier, it gives more insight into overcoming negative attributes like anger, jealousy, hatred and the like.

Coming back, let’s say someone does some wrong to you and then they apologize sincerely and are truly committed in not repeating the mistake, then is it not easy to forgive and get past the emotion? Yes indeed, but what if the offender does not seek forgiveness? Would you still be able to forgive? If you can achieve that, then it is no ordinary feat. In fact the most hardest thing is to be able to forgive the ones you love.

How to achieve?

So how do we achieve it? As it is, life is full of challenges, right from the basic “oh milk is not delivered home today” to “loss of someone dear”, remember the 1, 1a, 1b…..from the post I wrote earlier on happiness? So why add more challenges my carrying a barrel of hurts and hard feelings?

Life is so transitory and who knows, today could be our last day on earth, why allow our past to hinder the present? Today is a fresh day, learning to approach every day as a new day and living in the present is such a divine feeling. Each one of us are in our own life journey as a result of past karmas and we are here to reap what we have sown.

So, what is the point in adding more karma by carrying these hurts? Live in the present, rise above these negative feelings! Easily said than done, I agree. But should we not reflect on this more deeply and see how to achieve this?

Possible reasons

May be the other person who wronged you, had a tough time then, may be he/she was suffering from some mental disorder or health issue…why judge them with our lenses? We often tend to judge others and their feelings. We decide whether the other person should be hurt or not for a particular action, strangely so, won’t the other person also do the same unto us?

On the contrary, we tend to think they are overreacting when they say they are hurt by our actions. What a complicated structure this mind – passing selective judgements!

Actions and effect

The truth is that we really don’t know how much we are impacting others by our actions or words. When we think they should not overreact, it is sheer ignorance. How they react is a product of their life experiences, their emotional maturity, their situation and their choice after all.

So, let’s first attempt not to judge them atleast, if we cannot forgive them. Been there, seen it so many times over the course of life and yet not at all easy to not judge right? It’s ok if you are using the judgement to tread carefully in the next instance but do not carry it as a grudge or permanent imprint.

Courage

If you make a mistake, please have the courage to seek sincere forgiveness. It does not make you small or bad, it is what it is. It actually heals you inside out, makes you feel lighter at the heart and stronger in the mind. Also, have the spirit to accept forgiveness when someone offers an apology. It does not make you any less, it is in fact a great attribute to gracefully accept an apology.

I am reminded of this beautiful song from the Tamil film “Mozhi” on forgiveness, sung by Padmabhushan Dr. S.P. Balasubramaniam. Listen and enjoy!

Conclusion

My Guru often used to say, every time you forgive someone for their wrong doings they caused on you, whether or not they sought forgiveness, nature will forgive one of your past wrong doings. If you constantly practice this act of forgiveness, one day there will be nothing left, you will be free like a bird, happily fluttering and flying. Forgiveness is no less than Love and compassion, it is a divine attribute. In fact, one needs abundant love and compassion to be able to forgive.

Here is what Bhagwan Sri Krishna says in the Gita on forgiveness – Chapter 16.03

Embrace forgiveness, it will certainly make you light and fly high blissfully!

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To get a better understanding of karma, please read this

You can read more stories on karma by clicking this link

Or, if you would like to get a more broader perspective of karma and how it is related to the universal consciousness, Brahmam, please read this article

If you would like to know more about DNA astrology, please read this article

If you would like to know what karma you have, please use the DNA software here or simple search for DNA Software in Google or type https://dna.karumbu.in in your browser

Guidelines for using the DNA Astrology software is here

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