While speaking about the greatness of family life, Grandmother Bhagirathi explains in detail what constitutes the best conjugal life.
She said that living by compromising with family members, not magnifying small incidents in the family, and not carrying the minor faults of the house one has come to live in as a charge sheet to the husband is what constitutes the best conjugal life.
The husband, understanding his wife’s mind, should give her respect and, if she makes any mistake, he should point it out to her privately when they are alone rather than magnifying it in front of the family—this way of leading life is the best conjugal life, she said.
While talking about a family that lived with such an ideal conjugal life, she explained how a woman who lived by these principles forgot them in her middle age and suffered in her life as a result, and how her daughter-in-law, who adhered to these principles, lived happily.
The Life of Sri Hari and Anandi Couple
Sri Hari and Anandi began their married life in a joint family. They decided to live by the principles of the best conjugal life and started their life accordingly. Even while living in a joint family, Anandi lived with love, affection, and a compromising attitude toward everyone.
Gradually, the joint family started to split as the children left for education and jobs. Eventually, the family shrank to just the two of them, along with their parents and four children. The parents passed away one after the other.
Marriage of the Children
The marriages of two of their children were conducted first. Since both were girls who later gave birth to twin daughters, Anandi believed with confidence that her daughters-in-law would take up the responsibilities. Her faith began to bear fruit. The marriages of the two daughters were completed one after the other.
Since their eldest child, after marriage, continued life abroad, only the second child stayed with them, taking good care of them while leading their own life.
The Anandi who lived until her daughters’ marriages was different from the Anandi who lived after the marriages of the other two girls. The reason was that she became deeply convinced that her daughters were superior, no matter what mistakes they made.
Since both daughters lived in nearby streets in the same town, their frequent visits filled the house. Each time they came, she favored them, criticized her daughter-in-law, and monitored whether her daughters were being properly attended to.
The pregnancies of both daughters were attended to, and all necessary rituals were performed. Yet, Anandi could not feel satisfied.
Anandi’s Words, Actions, Thoughts, and the Karma She Accrued
Every day, she began accumulating karma through her words by thinking highly of her daughters and speaking ill of her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law, despite her mother-in-law’s harsh words, started spending her time believing that these were the results of past-life karma that needed to be cleansed.
On days when her daughters were not around, Anandi would behave normally with her daughter-in-law, but when the daughters visited, she would reveal her true nature.
Realizing that his wife’s behavior was contrary to her character, her husband tried to advise her, but she became angry and refused to listen, continuing her life as she pleased.
Slowly, he began to realize that his dream of them being remembered as a couple who lived happily in an ideal conjugal life would not come true.
Marriage of Grandchildren
The eldest child had two children, and after their marriages, they began living abroad.
The second child had two daughters and a son. Their marriages were completed one after the other, with the two daughters starting their lives abroad and the son moving to another town for work to continue his life there.
Due to the positive vibrations in the family, children were born one after another. Since the son worked in another town, only he, his wife, and the parents lived in the house. During holidays, he would visit with his wife and children, spend two joyful days with them, and then leave.
Anniversary Celebrations Conducted by the Children for Their Parents
The children celebrated their parents’ 60th and 70th wedding anniversaries. As the father approached 80, preparations were made for the 80th anniversary, and all the children gathered. The house was filled with festivity, with the children’s families, daughters’ families, grandsons, granddaughters, and great-grandchildren.
As usual, Anandi was preoccupied with what her daughters received and what they did, so she accepted this celebration with a heavy heart. The daughter-in-law, understanding her mother-in-law’s mind, ensured everything was done for the daughters, their children, and grandchildren without keeping count. Still, Anandi was not satisfied.
As time passed, Sri Hari, sensing his end was near, called his wife and began speaking to her privately. He said that it could not be said she lived by principles in her life because of the way she behaved. Due to the karma she had accrued, she would have to accept certain changes in her life.
When she claimed she had done no wrong and lived according to her principles, he pointed out that even during the 80th anniversary celebration the children organized, her face showed no happiness—only resentment toward her daughter-in-law. He added that by prioritizing her daughters and sidelining her daughter-in-law, she was accumulating karmic records.
He told her she stood by her children’s mistakes instead of pointing them out. If a time came when she had to live alone, she needed to change her mindset, as that change alone would sustain her.
He warned her not to forget that if she fell bedridden, it would be her daughter-in-law who would care for her like a mother. If she ended her life hurting her daughter-in-law’s feelings, cleansing that karma would be an immense task. He advised her never to favor her daughters or boast about them, as they were not worthy of such pride. The next day, after giving this advice, he left this earth.
Anandi Living in Solitude
While the rituals following her husband’s death were underway, Anandi kept recalling his words without any other thoughts. After the rituals, everyone returned to their homes. For the first time, instead of speaking favorably to her daughters as they left, Anandi merely nodded from where she sat.
Due to the karma she bore, her life reached a bedridden state. Unknowingly, she began to feel remorse. Thinking her daughters neglected her, she assumed all daughters were the same.
At the same time, when her daughter-in-law sensed something wrong with her health and visited a doctor, it was discovered she had early-stage breast cancer. When her husband informed their two daughters, they rushed to her side, and the son joined them. Anandi was stunned. Seeing her children rush to their mother upon hearing of her condition, she realized her daughter-in-law had raised them well.
The Daughter-in-Law’s Rebirth
Since the cancer was detected early, it was quickly cured, and with the children by her side, the daughter-in-law recovered swiftly.
The two daughters began living in India, caring for their mother, grandmother, and in-laws. The children started studying there, while only their husbands remained abroad.
When the daughters asked their father if he had taken care of their mother, he explained how he had looked after her, bringing tears to their eyes. The conjugal life had remained hidden from the outside.
The daughters realized that a couple’s conjugal life should be subtle, like a leaf hiding a fruit, not something to be displayed like a picture. They, along with the daughter-in-law, understood that the husband’s words, “I am here, don’t worry,” gave her the courage to move confidently in that household.
The Daughter-in-Law Serving Her Mother-in-Law Again
Having regained her strength, the daughter-in-law resumed caring for her mother-in-law. At that time, her son quit his job, deciding to stay with his parents and take up his father’s candle-making business. He told her his wife would now care for their grandmother, which filled the daughter-in-law with joy.
Anandi was amazed to see her grandson’s wife caring for her. She realized that because her daughter-in-law had raised the children well, they took good care of her, giving their parents rest. She understood that her daughter-in-law had lived by the very principles they had intended to follow.
Though she couldn’t live by the principles she desired, Anandi spent her days with the hope that their family would be known as one where successive generations lived in ideal conjugal harmony.
When her health worsened severely, her grandson’s wife urged her to hold fast to their family deity. Anandi kept Siruvachur Madhurakali Amman in her mind. Until then, her heart had been bound by worldly attachments, but at that moment, it turned to the divine. That deity took her to its abode.
Grandmother’s Discourse
Speaking to those gathered, Grandmother said that the ideal conjugal life was the family life Anandi led until her daughters’ marriages. What happened afterward was typical of most families.
From the time she married until her final days, Anandi’s son and daughter-in-law lived as a couple adhering to the ideal conjugal life Grandmother had described. Seeing them, the children in that family followed suit.
When those gathered asked how the karma she often spoke of manifested in this family, Grandmother began to explain.
The Karmas of This Story
Since the husband and wife in the family understood each other, lived happily, and valued the wife’s words, the Sukra (Venus) karma in that family continuously provided positive vibrations.
Due to Anandi’s behavior after her daughters’ marriages, the negative vibrations of Sukra karma began in the family. However, since her daughter-in-law had her husband’s support, those negative vibrations did not affect her but impacted Anandi instead.
While bedridden, Anandi suffered greatly from a urinary infection and endured immense pain before recovering from it.
The positive vibrations of Sevvai (Mars) karma existed in the family, granting everyone employment. Due to Sevvai karma’s positive vibrations, the family lived with homes and properties.
More Karmas
Guru (Jupiter) karma continuously exerted positive vibrations in the family. It was a family full of faith in the divine, and the birth of children and grandchildren occurred without any lack.
Due to the positive vibrations of Guru karma, the children cared well for their parents and gave them due respect.
Since Rahu karma’s positive vibrations were present in the family, along with Sevvai, Rahu, and Chandra (Moon) karmas, the family excelled in the candle-making business, a trade combining these influences.
Due to the negative vibrations of Rahu karma, the daughter-in-law’s breast cancer was detected in its early stage and she was saved from it.
Some more Karmas
Since Chandra (Moon) karma also exerted positive vibrations, the daughter-in-law lived with a giving nature and loved everyone. Even when her mother-in-law insulted her, she developed the maturity to see them as elderly, a result of Chandra karma’s positive vibrations.
Due to the positive vibrations of Sani (Saturn) karma in the family, Anandi’s second son ran a family business successfully, earning income and managing the household well.
Because of the positive vibrations of Surya (Sun) karma in the family, Anandi’s grandson took up his grandfather’s candle-making business, improved it with advanced techniques, and earned good revenue.
Having spoken about a family living with ideal conjugal harmony, Grandmother took leave of everyone and departed.
Om Sri Ganesharpanam.
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