Swami Raghavendra.

Sep 2010.

My health was deteriorating. Earlier, my body needed transfusions every 1 or two years. But now it demanded transfusions every 3 months and less. I was like a billboard patched up with bandages. The bandages were failing to hold.

My doctor offered an expensive drug , which he said may not be the right fit for me given my symptoms, or a 4th surgery. I wanted a change of scenery. So I signed up for a two week stay in a health center that offered alternative care. 

Day 1 began with OM meditation at 3.30 am. It was a large meditation hall. On the wall, there was a framed two dimensional ‘om’ symbol. The instructor asked us to look at the symbol, then close our eyes to begin meditation. I closed my eyes and began chanting. In my mind-eye, an image came up. I saw a tree with a concrete bench around it. An older man with a white beard, wearing a saffron robe, was seated on the bench. He had a calming presence. He said nothing. I continued to chant ‘OM’ as I gazed at him until the meditation session came to an end. Since I assumed that everyone who chants will likely see something or someone in their mind’s eye I was undisturbed by the experience. 

Couple of months later, my cousin handed me a picture of a saint from her trip to Mantralayam. I recognized the saint as the person in my vision. My cousin informed me that the saint was Swami Raghavendra. Was this karma in simple words?

Following this incident, my parents and I visited Mantralayam. We had a really pleasant darshan.

Looking back in 2024:

Swamy Raghavendra’s picture was a part of my household’s puja room. I have cleaned the puja room & the pictures several times but the mind did not connect the dots. At that point in time, I was a blind faith believer. By that I mean, I didn’t have any doubts about the existence of god. He exists. And eventually, he will come to my rescue and solve all my problems. I believed in the just world hypothesis. Since I am a dutiful child, dutiful student, dutiful spouse, only good things will happen. My  health problems will disappear since I am praying in all earnest.

God existed outside of me. I was looking outwardly to a separate entity that had the ability to change my life. When I visit temples I didn’t know what to think. Physically, I knew to bow in front of the deity, circumambulate the praharam, barter for wishes – “I will come to your temple, break a coconut in your name. Please let me pass this exam.”  I wish I knew to trust myself, put in my best efforts to study and then pray/hope that god’s grace helps me pass the exam. 

I will end this blog with a few lines from a tamizh movie song.

Ullirukkum unnai thedi.
Oyamal alaivoar kodi.
Karuvaraiya nee kadal alaiyaa.
Malaigal yerivarum oru kootam.
Nathiyil moozhgi ezhum perum kootam..
Ennil kadavul yaar thedugirom. 
Poiyai avarin pin odugirom

உள்ளிருக்கும் உன்னை தேடி 
ஓயாமல் அலைவோர் கோடி
கருவறையா நீ கடல் அலையா
மலைகள் ஏறிவரும் ஒரு கூட்டம்
நதியில் மூழ்கி எழும் பெரும் கூட்டம்
என்னில் கடவுள் யார் தேடுகிறோம்
பொய்யாய் அவரின் பின் ஓடுகிறோம்

-from song Ennena Seidhom in movie Mayakam Enna.

We start out with ignorance but eventually the inward turn happens.

-vengayam

Read about my experience with Devi