All of us humans have an innate desire to be happy. Happiness is not the final destination anyway.
All through my life I came across situations that induced more sorrow than happiness. It was either pain, suffering or worries doing the rounds. Then when I look around, almost most of my acquaintances have a similar list of suffering. It got to a point where, before even someone starts to narrate their issue, my mind will start bucketing the issue into 1), 1)a), 1)b… Predominantly these are:
| Category | Problem |
|---|---|
| 1. Relationship Issues | 1a. Not getting married 1b. Married but Unhappy 1c. No children 1d. Divorced |
| 2. Illness | 2a. Physical Sickness 2b. Mental Sickness |
| 3. Finances / Job | 3a. Debts 3b. Not getting job / losing jobs 3c. Difficult Boss |
| 4. Grief | 4a. Loss of a family member / close friend 4b. Handling critical illness for self or someone close. |
Am sure, majority of us are going through similar challenges at work or home or both.
Identifying the root cause
First off, what is the root cause of misery? On deep pondering, my discovery is that “Expectation” is the primary cause of misery. So, it is not about others or the situation, it is about us and about how we perceive an issue and how we digest an issue or situation. In short, all of us humans have an innate desire to be happy. Happiness is not the final destination anyway. It may be an outcome but above all it is just a state of mind, which means it is a matter of choice. Social status, power, recognition and wealth may definitely make one feel “happy”, but in my view and experience, it is of little value and is transitory.
What we should aim for is Supreme Anandham i.e Bliss. Anandham is your original state of being and this does not depend on what you have achieved or not in your worldly life!. We will delve deeper into “Anandham” in a more detailed post later.
My approach to happiness
For now, let me give you my approach to achieving happiness in day to day life.
Attitude
One can hold a positive attitude or a negative attitude for every aspect of life. Like for instance, looking at a half glass of water as half empty or half full. Unhappy and people with a negative attitude always spend their time desiring what they don’t have and they keep comparing with all others who have. They go about blaming everyone around for their situation.
That approach will lead one nowhere!
What we have is what we have and what we don’t is what we don’t! It is purely a matter of attitude as to how you want to carry your life.
Awareness
For every situation, the choice is in your hands, whether to react immediately or pause before you respond. For choosing the right response, you require awareness. Developing awareness requires mindfulness and in turn it helps you to act or respond sensibly. Awareness is a more spiritual term as well and once you start practicing awareness, you start living from moment to moment.
The approach of carrying a mental baggage will wither away and you start realizing that happiness is a matter of choice. For every situation, you may assess whether your action is leading to happiness or otherwise and choose wisely. By being aware, your responses are objective, gentle and sweet. Responding with awareness, is also a definite enabler for avoiding fresh karmic additions.
Be Aware and choose carefully, it almost always leads to happiness.
Acceptance
Accepting others as they are, gives immediate peace and relief to any situation. Non acceptance, on the other hand, is a difficult journey, full of conflicts and swimming against the tide. As long as you think, the key to your happiness depends on the other person, that is, if you depend on others to make you feel happy, they will continue to affect your state of happiness.
The key is: Do not expect anyone external to give you happiness. Happiness lies in not allowing others or the circumstances to impact your peace of mind. After all, why we are in the present situation, is due to our past karma. Our non-acceptance and mindless reactions will only contribute to further karma, that will again come back and hit us like a boomerang.
Accept and Be Happy.
Our take away
And, they say beautiful lotuses don’t grow in clean water lakes, but in marshes. I believe that suffering shapes a person and makes you look inward. It definitely helps you evolve. Unhappiness means life is telling you to reflect on yourself and your actions and make course corrections in reaching the ultimate purpose.
Hurry, Curry, Worry is the root cause of all problems.
While I was writing this article, I got this wonderful video forward from a friend and it came so timely. The topic was about worry and happiness and that too spoken by Bhagwan Sathya Sai Baba . It was indeed a confirmation for me to continue writing on this topic.
“Does worry have a shape?”, asks Bhagwan Sathya Sai Baba on the occasion of World International Happiness Day. See this beautiful clipping to hear it in his own sweet words.
Bhagwan Sathya Sai Baba often used to quote “Sathyam, Shivam, Sundaram”. Sathyam means truth, Shivam means divinity and Sundaram means beauty. The moment you learn the art of seeing and appreciating the goodness in your life, you begin to see divinity and beauty everywhere. A sattvic mind is full of peace. Your life then takes a new meaning and you march ahead positively in the pursuit of supreme anandham.
We are born in this world to lose as well as to gain, to have happiness as well as misery. Enrich your mind by understanding this and improve, gaining stability thereby.
Swami Bhoomanandha Thirtha
You be who you are,
Let others be who they are,
Let the circumstances be whatever,
You choose peace and happiness above all.
Happiness is a habit, it is a matter of choice!
There are many instances however, no matter what understanding I might have gathered over the years, I have missed the whole point and suffer mentally and be unhappy and brood over certain happenings. At those times, I remind myself of my favorite quote of Bhagwan Yogi Ramsuratkumar: “If your goal of life is God or Anandham, then why accept the existence of anything else?” The moment I ask myself this question, worry vanishes.
I choose to be happy, how about you?
Sb.Gita
V.Rathika
So true… having expectation is what the root cause for everything…thank u for making me to realise it…nice format, super clarity and I came to know about saints who r very new to me… waiting for ur next write up in order to dwell deep into my seeking…
Yogi Ramsuratkumar
Jaya Guru Raya
S.B.Gita
Thank you Rathika. Glad you liked it and is helping you. Will definitely continue to write. Thank you
TC Rangarajan
Dear Gita, excellent write up in simple English, congrats
S.B.Gita
Thank you Rangarajan. Thanks for taking the time out to read and give your feedback
Chandra(Karumbu)
Good re iteration of one aspect of (Bhagavad)gita by Geetha. Powerful and highly useful message expressed in simple words. Also liked the differentiation between happiness and anandam (which is divine).
S.B.Gita
Thank you Chandra ji for taking your time out to read. Indeed it is Anandha that one should aim for as I see happiness as more transitory.
Priya Sridhar
Very nicely written Geetha 👌👍 Beautiful quotes 🙏😍
S.B.Gita
Thank you Priya. All His Grace
Vijaya Sundar
A very logical and lucid writeup Geetha. You’ve nicely given the key points and explained them.
Love the quote by Yogi Ramsuratkumar 🙏